


for a while we had forever in our hands

by BluebarrieMuzzins



Series: Around the League [16]
Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Angst, Heavy Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, M/M, No Dialogue, Post-Break Up, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-07
Updated: 2020-10-07
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:28:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26877442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BluebarrieMuzzins/pseuds/BluebarrieMuzzins
Summary: Then there was the matter of Jeff and Eric’s song. Every time it came on the radio, Jeff would have to pull over at the first possible opportunity. Whenever he heard it; it made all of the relationship memories come flooding back—an experience Jeff wasn’t ready for.Jeff had heard from a few of Eric’s teammates in Minnesota that he reacted with no emotion every time he heard the song. They described it to Jeff that it was almost as if Eric didn’t realize what song it was that he was listening too. When Jeff heard that, you holed himself in his bedroom in Buffalo for a week and didn’t talk to anyone. That song was supposed to be their wedding song. Eric’s blasé attitude toward it now made Jeff’s heartbreak, even when it had no reason too.
Relationships: Jeff Skinner/Eric Staal
Series: Around the League [16]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1666117
Comments: 3
Kudos: 26





	1. Jeff's Side

**Author's Note:**

> I decided to try something different with this one and use no dialogue. I hope I did a good job! There will also be a second chapter from Eric's perspective that I'll post either later today or tomorrow. Just depends when I remember. I hope that's okay!
> 
> If you found this by Googling yourself, are in this yourself, or know someone in this, please click back. No harm was meant in the creation of this fic. It's fictional and meant purely for entertainment purposes.
> 
> This fic is based on "Her World or Mine" by Michael Ray, though I've altered it a little to be more suitable for two men in a relationship. Hope that's okay!

Every time Jeff got into his car, the picture of him and Eric from Mexico was still taped on the dashboard. He couldn’t bring himself to move it or throw it away. Jordan, a friend of Jeff’s and Eric’s younger brother, told Jeff that Eric had already thrown his copy of the picture in the trash. Knowing that stung because the picture was Jeff and Eric’s engagement picture; Jeff’s favourite picture of them together.

Then there was the matter of Jeff and Eric’s song. Every time it came on the radio, Jeff would have to pull over at the first possible opportunity. Whenever he heard it; it made all of the relationship memories come flooding back—an experience Jeff wasn’t ready for.

Jeff had heard from a few of Eric’s teammates in Minnesota that he reacted with no emotion every time he heard the song. They described it to Jeff that it was almost as if Eric didn’t realize what song it was that he was listening too. When Jeff heard that, you holed himself in his bedroom in Buffalo for a week and didn’t talk to anyone. That song was supposed to be their wedding song. Eric’s blasé attitude toward it now made Jeff’s heartbreak, even when it had no reason too.

Whenever Jeff would see videos or pictures of him drinking that Eric’s teammates or brothers sent to Jeff, it was clear that Eric was drinking for the fun of it. Eric only had a few and would stop. When Jeff drank, he  _ drank _ . Jeff’s goal was to forget as much about Eric and anything surrounding him for one night as Jeff could. It was only a temporary fix because Jeff would wake up in the morning with a killer hangover and an ache in his heart every time.

Of course, the nights where Jeff drank heavily were the only nights that he got any decent sleep. Any other night, he would toss and turn for hours on end. Jeff had been with Eric for 5 years; not having him around now made sleeping difficult. Jeff had grown accustomed to sleeping with another person in his bed. The fact that it was back down to only himself in the bed had thrown his circadian rhythm off majorly. 

The first thing Jordan had told Jeff about Eric after the breakup was that Eric had deleted Jeff’s number from his phone. Even with Eric throwing the picture away and having no reaction to the song, the phone number was what stung the most. They had dated for 5 years; it stung Jeff to his core that Eric could delete Jeff’s number just like that. 

There was a giant part of Jeff that wanted to call Eric up to see if he remembered Jeff’s number without having it saved. If Jeff called and Eric answered, Jeff was going to ask if they could give the relationship a second chance. Jeff would tell Eric that he couldn’t stand the thought of being with someone else; Eric was who Jeff had thought he would spend his life with. Jeff would tell Eric that seeing the empty spot in the driveway behind his car where Eric used to park his car was maddening. Jeff would tell Eric, that, above all else, he loved him.

Constantly, Jeff was thinking about the fact that he and Eric had their whole lives planned out. They had the wedding venue and reception hall booked. Jeff’s suit was about to start being made. They had just finalized that they were going to Fiji for their honeymoon. They even decided that they wanted two or three children and a dog or two. Everything was all ready for them to live their future life. Jeff still didn’t understand what happened to change all of that. One day, it all just crumbled underneath them. Now, Jeff was left scrambling about what to do with the shattered pieces of his life.

Those shattered pieces would form one clear picture when put back together; a picture that Jeff wasn’t ready to face.

Eric had moved on and Jeff hadn’t.


	2. Eric's Side

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Jeff found out Eric had no reaction to the song that was supposed to be their wedding song, Jeff had holed up in his room in Buffalo for a week and not talked to anyone. What Eric’s teammates in Minnesota hadn’t told Jeff was that Eric went out and broke three of his sticks at practice. That he shot a puck with so much anger that he shattered one of the panes of glass behind the net. Everyone on Minnesota, the coach included, had agreed Jeff wasn’t to find out. They decided that, since Jeff hadn’t played for Minnesota, there was no need to drag him into team drama.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's chapter two of the fic! Let me know what you think and I hope you enjoy it!

The first thing Eric had done after he had broken up with Jeff was deleted Jeff’s number out of his phone. That’s what Jordan told Jeff. What Jordan didn’t tell Jeff was that Eric wrote the number on a piece of paper and put it in his wallet. He wanted to have it handy in case Jeff called him.

Jordan told Jeff that Eric threw their engagement picture from Mexico in the trash. What Jordan didn’t tell Jeff was that it only stayed there for a couple of hours. Eric fished it out and tacked it back onto the fridge where it belonged. Jordan didn’t tell Jeff that Eric whispered _ I love you _ to it whenever he opened the fridge. Didn’t tell Jeff that Eric would occasionally talk to the picture like it was really Jeff.

When Jeff found out Eric had no reaction to the song that was supposed to be their wedding song, Jeff had holed up in his room in Buffalo for a week and not talked to anyone. What Eric’s teammates in Minnesota hadn’t told Jeff was that Eric went out and broke three of his sticks at practice. That he shot a puck with so much anger that he shattered one of the panes of glass behind the net. Everyone on Minnesota, the coach included, had agreed Jeff wasn’t to find out. They decided that, since Jeff hadn’t played for Minnesota, there was no need to drag him into team drama.

Every time Eric went out drinking with Minnesota or his brothers, the pictures and videos that got sent to Jeff portrayed Eric as a responsible drinker. That’s what everyone wanted Jeff to think. Behind the pictures and videos, Eric  _ drank _ . He would wallow about the relationship to anyone--his teammates, his brothers, random strangers at the bar--that would listen, all while throwing back drink after drink. Jordan never told Jeff that when Eric woke up hungover his first instinct would be to call out for Jeff. Much like he had whenever he woke up hungover during the 5 years they dated.

No one told Jeff that Eric couldn’t stand sleeping in his apartment in Minnesota. He couldn’t stand being alone after being with Jeff for 5 years. He would often crash at the house or apartment of whatever teammate was feeling the most generous that day. Jeff wasn’t told that on the days that Eric did sleep at his apartment that he would cry himself to sleep because the bed was missing someone.

Jordan knew how much Jeff wanted to call Eric and ask to give the relationship a second chance. What Jordan didn’t reveal to Jeff was that Eric wanted to do the same thing. Eric wanted to tell Jeff that he meant the world to Eric; that Jeff was who Eric wanted to spend his life with. Eric wanted to tell Jeff he loved Jeff and that Jeff was all he could think about.

Jeff had mentioned to Jordan how he was constantly thinking about the fact that he and Eric had had their lives planned out. That Jeff was now flabbergasted as to what happened to change that. Jordan had nodded along and sympathized with Jeff. What Jordan hadn’t told Jeff was that Eric felt exactly the same way. Eric was prepared to have a white-picket-fence life with Jeff. The two or three children, the one or two dogs; everything. 

Eric had gone ahead and had Jeff’s suit made; Eric needed something that reminded him of Jeff. Jeff was none the wiser because Jordan nor any of Eric’s teammates in Minnesota had told Jeff this detail.

Jeff’s life had shattered into a million pieces and he was scrambling to survive. Eric’s life had shattered into a million pieces and he was scrambling to survive. The only problem is Jeff was none the wiser to that fact. There was only one fact that Jeff was wiser too, no matter how wrong it was.

Eric had moved on and Jeff hadn’t.


End file.
